cat scratches

I'm sorry.

i’m doing good.

Okay I know its what they call “the honeymoon” phase of college, but I just feel really good lately. Like just in the past few days, I’ve met some amazing people and restarted some friendships. And these people actually make me feel really good about myself. And I know that this is just the beginning and the real work load hasn’t started yet, but I’m positive and prepared. God did I actually just say I’m positive about something? Most of my life I’ve spent complaining about things because I felt uncomfortable or unwelcome, and its different here. Like I miss home and family like crazy, and I did like my childhood, but here I don’t have abusive presences lurking around the corner and I’m able to sleep in the same bed for more than a week instead of having to pack my life every couple of days. And again, I’m making healthy friendships that aren’t all about one person and I don’t feel like I hate myself after being with them. I feel worth it. As long as I hold on to this positive feeling, I’ll make it through this. And I have so much support here and far that I really feel like I’ll be okay.

barf.

Moved into dorm today and excited for the future except I want to cry a lot for a long time.